in my previous posts about epidurals, I wrote down the basic facts that most birth professionals agree on. Still, a pregnant woman reading about childbirth has figure out her own plan for dealing with labor pain. This decision depends on each woman's personal values. Values are not the same as facts. Values vary from person to person and from situation to situation. They are not objective truths the way facts are.
Here is one set of values:
- Why should I writhe in pain if an epidural can make it go away? Why not take advantage of modern medicine? A man wouldn't have his appendix taken out without anesthesia. A woman shouldn't be expected to endure pain unnecessarily either.
- I am a liberated modern woman who doesn't buy into the idea that a woman's place is to endure pain in exchange for the ability to bring forth life.
- I don't believe that the pain itself has any value. Just because women hundreds of years ago had babies without pain medications doesn't mean they would today.
- I have a choice.
And here's another set of values:
- Why should I use pain medications just because other people are uncomfortable with the noises I make and with me moving around?
- I am a liberated modern woman who doesn't buy into the idea that I have to compete in a man's world to feel worthy. I want to do this because it is not easy. I feel that doing difficult things, even those that are painful, adds value to my life.
- I don't believe that an epidural is safe enough. Just because modern technology developed the epidural doesn't mean I have to use it.
- I have a choice.
As a former laparoscopic bariatric (weight loss) surgeon, I do understand the first set of values. After all, I have seen modern technology do some really wonderful things for people. I am all for women's lib. I owe my career as a surgeon to amazing women who proved to the world that women have something special to offer the field of medicine. I definitely do not believe that women should be punished for having the ability to give birth. The spinal anesthesia I had for my cesarean with my first child worked great.
So why did I choose to have a birth without medications at home with my second child? Well, I understand the second set of values too. I like experiencing all of life. I even want to know the parts that are hard. I like knowing that my body labored and birthed my child. I like that it is an exclusively female ability. And I want to do it myself, without chemicals. Women's lib allows me to make a choice without feeling as if my individual decision may destroy the work of an entire movement.
I think the most important thing for anyone facing this decision is to be honest with yourself. Once you have enough factual information, let your own set of values guide you in what you feel is best for you and your family.
MYTH:
Parenting and childbirth are easy and painless if you could just "do it right."
TRUTH:
No matter what you decide, someone is going to judge you
harshly for it and all of your future parenting decisions.